Change Of Address

This blog has been moved to its own spiffy new server and domain!

Find me at http://www.shanekitt.com

Hope you enjoyed TIFI as that name is no more unfortunately. It's just a boring old personal site now. But with extra Shane-ness.

Tis The Season To Be Gaudy

Bah humbug, say I! The holiday season and all saccharine mock-charm therein is thankfully at an end. Oh how I hate the season with its tedium and near-mechanised traditions. Even peoples opinion of it has become infuriatingly ambiguous. If you claim to dislike the consumerism of it all then what's your moral standpoint for the remaining 11 months of the year? Do you roam the streets lamenting the decadence of the bourgeoisie and calling for revolution? The consumerism argument doesn't hold up too well either when people say they don't care about presents but like all the parties. When I last checked endeavouring to purchase alcohol, food and clothing makes you a consumer! We are all consumerist. Stop bandying about this redundant fucking term.

Even the most fundamental appreciation of Christmas is flawed. It has been said that the birth of Christ was sometime in June not December. However the Church was said to have moved Christmas to December in order to undermine the pagan celebration of the Winter Solstice. In fact, early Christians saw the commemoration of ones birth as a pagan custom. So if even Christians themselves didn't celebrate Christmas once upon a time why should I? There's one to think about.

The Incredible Flying Irishman Has His Wings Clipped

Hello people I apologise for promising spoonfuls of delicious American goodness and then not delivering (or "serving you" to keep up the restaurant theme) but this bloggers international sojourn has come to an end for now. It's back to bad pub anecdotes involving misplaced - then subsequently found - coats and cutting political satire which will mainly take the form of me calling politicians silly names and pretending I know why I hate the EU. Yes it's back to business in the Motherland.

While I'm here I may as well tout my campaign to have a local, moderately famous Irish comedian run for the office of President of Ireland (almost worked for John Stewart didn't it?). Just go here and all will be revealed. It's a Facebook group so if you're one of those anally retentive "pillars of integrity" who regard the tedium of social networking as beneath them then consider yourself warned.

It seems the word "flying" in the name of this blog is effectively redundant now given I'm no longer residing in a place from which I would need to utilise air travel to return from. I'll keep it nonetheless because I think it's dead clever. I'll change the banner soon too. The current one is a bit "MS Paint"-ey. Buh bye now!

T.I.F.I. @ Gencon Brisbane

I've been sitting in front of the computer for 10 minutes now trying to come up with a witty remark connecting my use of the "at" symbol above and the fact that this post is about Gencon - a veritable Mecca of all things nerdy. Although the Internet can hardly be called nerdy now can it? It's pretty much a pillar of world communication, commerce and lolcats (older readers: google it).

Scott, Jay and Myself: The geek shall inherit the Earth.

After perusing the stalls for something I could actually afford (someday, 300 Sword, someday) we decided to play a demo game of laser tag which explains the nifty little photo up there. I relish the chance to wield anything metal and phallic. Those laser guns are actually pretty heavy and have nifty little ammo counters and scopes and all sorts of faux-military shite. You would think I'm about to plug this company but I can't remember their name. It's past my bedtime so I'm not in a charitable mood anyway. Let's just say it's their fault for having such a forgettable business name.

People in costumes: Misfits or Misunderstood?

A staple of these gatherings is Cosplay, a hobby which involves dressing up in costumes inpsired by pop culture with an emphasis on Japanese anime. Some call it sad, others call it brave. I fall somewhere in the middle. I dressed up as Scorpion from Mortal Kombat for a Halloween party once and I loved it. Everyone was complimenting me on my awesome costume design (it was a few yellow rags tucked into black cotton sweatpants for the record) and I was voted the second best costume after Blanca from Street Fighter. He was a cool guy though so I didn't care. Here is proof:


Anyway Gencon is the goods if you're into sci-fi, fantasy, trading cards, tabletop, video and board games or any other staple of nerd-dom. Which I am. Damned proud of it too!

PS Sorry about the delay folks. Been a busy few weeks planning for my trip to.....*drum roll* the USA! I'll try my best to post every two or three days.

U.S.A. Special: Sneak Preview

Today folks we take a short break from the land of Oz to tell you about another country....

AMERRRIIICAAAA!

In November '09 we will be going to the land of the free and the home of the Whopper. The Incredible Flying Irishman will be visiting no less than FOUR major cities in the old U.S of A. For three weeks I will try to post at least every two days assuming I can get my laptop and camera insured and/or bonded to my physiology like some sort of consumer electronics cyborg. I will be chronicling my adventures in the lovely cities of Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York and Miami. Mostly it will be posts about how big the portions are at KFC though.

Until then however I have much more Aussie goodness lined up. I know I have some American readers so if you could just go ahead and let Homeland Security know I'm cool you would be doing me a big favour.

The Irish and the Aussies: Are We So Different?

I got to thinking the other day. No, I didn't hurt myself in the act. I pondered the key differences between us Paddys and our Antipodean brethren and found we share many similarities. While we differ wildly in other respects I believe those differences actually prove my point. In short Aussies are the Irish plus sunny weather. The following headings illustrate my theory nicely.

Alcohol

Australians love their drinking. Some people reckon they love it just as much as the Irish. This is both true and false. To us drinking and celebrating are the same thing. Be it a christening, a wedding or a Tuesday. One does not abstain from alcohol unless they are pregnant or on prescription medication that will make them literally explode should it be consumed with alcohol. The Aussies too love to celebrate with a drink and there is problem drinkers here too (like any country in the world) but the occasion is a celebration first and a piss-up second.

However there's a flipside to this. When Aussies go out to get drunk...hooo boy. Us Irish have deftly woven drunkeness into the fabric of society whereas for the Aussies there is a big distinction between having a drink and being drunk. That and we can handle our booze better than them. Haw!

Sports

When there is a huge sporting event on in Ireland, let's say the All-Ireland final in Croke Park, Dublin and whatever counties are playing literally come to a standstill. The streets and pubs are choked with fans for hours both before and after the game with the festivities continuing long into the night and frequently the next day. Cut to about 6 months later and it's rinse and repeat for our home games in the Six Nations.

The Aussie have so many professional sports teams and leagues that it gets very confusing for an outsider to keep track. Many find the idea of Gaelic games (gaelic football, camogie and hurling) players being unpaid and playing only on Saturdays and Sundays unthinkable. People get paid to play Netball here. Need I say anymore? Despite all this commercialism they have a fierce pride in their sporting endeavours that mirrors ours.

Recreation

This is one of those differences that is really a hidden similarity. It's no secret that in Australia they love being outside on a nice day. Barbeque grills are a must-have in many homes. The Irish on a typically Irish day will retreat into the warm, comfortable confines of the local pub or the living room (with drink). However, add warm weather and us pasty Celts bound into the distance wildly shedding clothes as if involved in some sick parody of a pagan sun dance. I have walked down the street in the Irish summer months spying at least five or six middle aged men wearing nothing but unflattering swimming trunks.

At least we have the common decency to at least try and get rid of the everpresent "T-Shirt Tan". I bet that if Ireland were continuously hot for at least six months almost all vandalism of public facilities would vanish. Primarily because we would actually be using them. With hot weather on our side we would morph into something similar to the Aussies. Drinking outdoors and eating unhealthy grilled food like the best of 'em!

Money

Everyone loves to get things cheap but nobody more than the Aussies and the Irish. This is where we truly overlap. Our wallets. From Cheap Arse Tuesdays to Garage Sales galore, Oz can't be beat when it comes to being a nation of tight bastards. Nobody in Australia has any illusions about what they can and can't afford. Apart from the major urban areas perhaps many live within their means. They relish the chance to find a bargain and it is perfectly socially acceptable (within reason) to take furniture left on the side of the road for the periodical city council pickup.

There is a subtle difference in our two cultures bargain-hunting however. While the Australian way is mischievous and charming, the Irish are just plain tight. There is no clever way to say it, we are tight bastards at the best of times. A packet of biscuits goes up by 5 cent and the consumer watchdogs are coming out of the woodwork. This was bizarrely offset by the recent economic success in Ireland which put money in the pockets of these penny pinchers. Yet they still think the biscuits are too much. What vindication the Economic Implosion* must be!


Well that's my theory in all its meandering glory. I hope I made sense. Yeah, I made sense.

* Implosion is a far more exciting word than 'downturn'. You know I'm right!

The Obligatory Lazy Post Where I Just Put Up Old Photos

Well it's been a dry few weeks for TIFI so I decided that rather than lose momentum I would dig through the archives and find some pictures. Where to go from there is a mystery to me. I guess I'll add some funny captions or something. Pictured above is your heroes fateful origin in Australia. One of the first sightings and certainly not the last.



The Sydney skyline. I might have one of the Opera House but I'm reluctant to put it up because every bastard and his mother has a photo of the Opera House. It's unique in that it's the only landmark that looks pretty much the exact same no matter what way you photograph it. That's because there are only so many vantage points from which to picture it. That and it's a very unphotogenic and shitty shade of beige that doesn't look great during the day. Luckily this forward thinking blogger got a snap of it from a boat!



See? Even in the second one it looks just like the postcard. The bridge is longer than I thought though. There's a tour you can do where you climb the Harbour Bridge. It's called Bridge Climb imaginatively enough. I was all set to do it when I found out it costs about $400 for the full tour. The ferries are much cheaper and you don't have to put on a crotch-hugging safety harness to do that. Great view for a fraction of the price albeit not at a high altitude.



Ah yes the famous Aussie beaches. These particular photos were taken (no, not from a boat) from a lookout point up near the cliffs beside Bronte Beach in the affluent eastern Sydney suburbs. I have no pictures of Bondi before you ask because it's crap. There I said it. Perhaps the most famous beach in the world is shite. It's long and boring and full of drunk, heat-stroked tourists and tanned surfer types who only have good bodies because God felt bad for not giving them a personality. Bronte Beach is different. Despite the fact that I got caught in a wave and had to be rescued by a lifeguard it still rules. It has a separate pool for people with a justified mortal fear of waves which is still fed by the sea so it has no chlorine or heating system thus making it a ball shriveller when the Sun goes in. It's still great in the summer evenings to get in from work and go straight out for a swim ten minutes later.

That's all for now folks. Next time around I'll be doing Brisbane since I've lived here five times longer than I did in Sydney. As you can see I've now got the Twitter going on so um Tweet me as the kids say.

Disclaimer: Twitter is lame but for getting the word out about the blog it's good so don't judge me.